Purchase?

Gah, postpone my blog post until now,  suppose post it on Monday,  but I drag it until today. Hmm Monday when I on my way back kp,  my mom accidently  told me that one of my aunt trying to pay  money to my parents to 'purchase ' me due to she went consult the fortune  teller. He told them that there are few zodiac can bring him luck.so take my zodiac is one of the zodiac that bring them luck. And thus they requested to purchase me to collect whole series. They said they lack one monkey.. and also I'm the only monkey which  same generation with their children . When I heard this I was like woaaa got such transaction  huh?  Glad that my mum  dint sell me. 
These  day I found my motivation. But it seem too fast to move forward.  I still no preparation  all these come tgt. I won't look back to past, or maybe past  leave me ahead, so forcing me walk out my future  myself.  chilling always.

Depravation life

This week... Totally decadence... Sleeping time went wrong... Seriously I dont know what happened to me...
i lost myself for Almost two month, sometimes I will alright, but sometimes when the timing and mind goes wrong, my mind totally blank out, like dead body .. Zombie ? Ya. Think so. Lol start cannot cure anything... I should find my motivation on study.. But still when I blank out, or when I tired, I still need a ppl tell me " yi lin, im here, I lend you my shoulder" . Many thing I dint say out, but I facing a lot stress/ problem. What I can do now is think in good way, I keep persuade myself this just a really little problem happened in my whole life. I will feel better when I think like this =')
I think... I need a long long rest...

Lessons.

I seldom update my blog, just simply I got nothing to complaint? Haha. I cannot change the thing, so I change my viewpoint. Ya. I got my licence. And have to drive out and my dad was beside and guide me, he holding the handbrake all the time. And found that, drive might look simple but sometimes accident still happened even it not my fault, I'm a good driver. Lol . Btw , this morning almost crash, but nothing happened I stopped my car middle of the road. My dad was beside and that fella didn't open signal. So it's not my fault still. XD

From the competition, my opponent is stronger than my team, this is true. I was stress up all the way. Cuz I do scare I did mistake and cause my team losing. The shuffle team make is .... lame.. but also prove that we are not good enuf compare to other. Istevejob they got the luck. Why I said so? Cuz my team get victory when they were our opponent :)

From the korean show we got marry, I found that, the ending might be sad, but still they enjoying and happy in the process.. 15 episode. But they do happy when they meet each other, although from different country , different culture, different language, they cannot communicate well but still they use body language to communicate.. feel like ... nothing is impossible... just depend on how patient you are... I'm the patient type also the annoying type.

Haha. Feel like wanted to play this kind of game, I got a china husband. Not bad huh? XD just kidding

And ya, I disturbed by a mangalian? Or indonesian? Dun really know how to differentiate. Hmm.. he was sitting opposite my pc in DDS when wh not around me. I didn't  notice him at all, after a while, he put 1 can green tea middle of our pc, and I still didn't found it anything wrong. He push that drinks more to my side, and ya, I noticed that stupid action, what wrong with him? And when I looking at him, I realized he was starring on me. I was like... wtf you open a pc but your face near the pc just because of that position can starred on me? I dunno what I can do, just asking for wh help. I hope I do think much. When wh come back.. he saw that, he took back the drinks and immediately open. Don't say I'm wrong. I perasan... he need to stand a bit to take back that can.... after that , he near that pc screen as near as possible, and I donear to other side to avoid see his face the .... 'hamsup' smile.. what happen to this world btw.. = =

Second chance

Second chance. I didn't know that post is mention me or what. That ppl mention that he/she felt unfair because he/she couldn't get another chance. Life is never fair. You missed the chance means that you won't get another chance no matter how hard you trying to get another chance. So face the fact. If  life is fair. Everyone could get a chance. There is no ex exist. There is no more unhappy. No more disappoint. No argue if everyone live with fair deal. Lolz .. now I know thing pass, ppl change. I was mentioned as 'that ppl/ that girl/ that bitch' few times .. so It is fair for me? I used to be a writing machine? Fair huh? Think careful when you trying to say every single word. I m not filter. I didnt know how to get your meaning.

Trust.

I don't like being a 'fool' I told you what I tell you, at the end, ppl come tell back me what  I told you. Its a circle? Ppl simply tell them their thing because they do trust on you. But not tell for fun. I'm not that moron. Want tell and don't want tell repeat this like few time. If I do so, there must be difficulty for me to tell. I wanna share  with the ppl I trust and respect the most. But at the end, I don't want get the extra feedback from other ppl. I stop my mind for telling also because if that ppl don't care why for I that ppl? You think this ppl will care? There might few thing come out, he care,he don't care and he don't care + backstap on you. 1/3chance  you will get the answer that might comfort you well.

And do not simply make this kind of joke. It lame. And what if ppl make this kind of joke with you? I dunno how differ joke or true. So now I not going to care everything even it's real. I will not ask, I just tell what I heard. I won't simply add in comment. If I tell you something, there must be a real thing that I heard from other.  P/s I don't creating story. Because I'm not a story creator.

Know

Exhausted life..
Simply dunno what should do, what to do anymore. My mind doesn't work well nowadays. Don't want to think, don't want to feel, don't want to know, don't want to talk. Just felt some of the ppl come for me for a certain reason, I know but I don't wanna give reaction. This "know" make me think really lot. I tired..

Guideline

I found guideline. From what my friend said I think too much. I do hope I think too much. Now I oni want to have my own life let me finish my education k? I dont want involves in " relationship" this term. I think now im better without it. Huehue . But seriously I dunno how to analyze joke and truth ady. Is I too noob to analyze or ppl are good in making joke/tease. I think I do try understand the "joke/ truth" but it doesn't work. It make me think that should I change my attitude toward ppl? More coldness pls! O.o I dont want involves in any A,B,C relationship no matter is just kidding or what please treat your gf nice, stop this kind of " joking" , and I dun want go back the old life.. Talk with my friend, it lead Me feel that I never learned from my past.. I know all these thing, but I fail to learn from it.. Hmmm. Think so much can't help. But my mind still lead me to these ,_,
I think being sociable is good. So... That I can think Everything and everyone are joking. :D huehuehue

O.o

My brain told me it simple but it not simple while I'm not going to pay any rasuah zzz . Aha ! But seriously they need to fix their car :@ cuz when I dint free gear, and my leg leave the clutch, dint touch it at all, unexpected? Surprisingly?  the car engine dint mati... Supposedly the car will sei fo one ma when your leg leave the clutch when your gear still in 1.While my leg still tekan the clutch, the car not move at all!! And while I my leg not touching at all, ONI tekan oil , it start moving !!! That isn't a manual, that is toy car !!!!!

Mind can control , manage, estimates , decide everything, but sadly it cannot feel.. Pain also one of the 'feel'.
It might help you make the right decision or choice, you rely it to help you make choice, you might choose the right one, you might also can create feeling . But it created by your mind. Hope it fit what human want. Enjoy life with peace.

tuh dey

Still... cannot leave here. Lol . Useless sia. Like 4 year or 3 year adi . Dun care whatever ppl say.. still my place. I just wanted to share what I want to share, what thing I experienced before. I don't lie. Lie is lame. I hate liar so I won't be one of them. Lie might can make ppl happy, but not for me. At least I think like this. Hope tomoro will ok ba. Keep fail to masuk gear today when doing three turn point. SIGH. Bless me. Love you dad. Thank for keep fetching me no matter how busy you are. .Peace.

Yi Lin's story

I will try my best .... to prove
I really dont know what i can write.. more to... that my personal problem?

Honestly, my life is dramatic. and i can always feel what those "special" story coz i can felt it in my real life. and this make me grow up a lot.

I would like to know what impression of me for you guys? annoyed? sombong?
btw i still the yi lin i want to be and it supposed to be.

my background, i think some of my close friend will know about it. XD coz i geh po?
How i come? Owh, My mum pregnant "accidently" and she still eating the birth control pills. and she ate pills because doctor found out that her body still cannot afford to pregnant second times. but me still come this world without "permission" .

What she do? she will abort the second baby supposingly coz her body super weak, this might endanger her life. so my parents considered and booking for the abortion service.

Last decision? Doctor advice her to take the abortion operation, he not suggested my mum pregnant with that certain health condition even though found out the second baby is healthy even my mum ate a lot pills. before enter the operation room, my mum change her mind, and decide to born the second baby. ans thus i was born, and.. the pregnant process is hard... thanks mom

last time,My dad's income is super low and not constant, this make him can't study also. and same to my mom side, my mom's dad is penjudi and he likes beer, so study? impossible. so my parents's expectation on their children is high.

since young, I did go some house teaching tuition. but it expensive, so , bcoz of this she change a lot places to find the cheap, good, and near my place. my education is going better until .... I reached 13 years old. the place doesn't supply tuition for secondary student. so they find another tuition center... yea. silibin side, the second floor of public bank. ITＳＵＣＫＳ. i can tell u this. my result straight drop. and I stop taking tuition until form 3, PMR, my economic still not that good, but i successful beg my mum to let me take tuition... at steven. MATH. actually that times my math from GAGAL straight improve to A. I am those ppl that must put a lot effort to understand the studies, if not another GG for me. and this thing moved on to form 5 i still taking one tuition MATH and ADD MATH. so still A. XD but other overall is pass and ok. except sejarah. = =

my parents is those no matter whoever say that thing is good, they will persuade themselves that is good, and start to do it. at first they persuade me to study form 6 but i choose UTAR.
My parents love me lot, they know they cant persuade me, so will sp me. ofcoz i love them too. I sacrifice drawing this course coz they said that no future.. ARGH , when i standard 4 im taking drawing tuition. WOHOO. i love that hell much. but this tuition maintain like few month, then they dint want me to go anymore coz my siblings wanted to stop it, so i have to follow also.

last time my eng is bad, super bad, as in cannot speak it in whole sentence and oni can understand some simple word. English movie without subtitle can kill me.. and since i go for uni, i start talking and type in eng, ya, it still bad, but at least can bring out the message i wanted to share. DOnt speak eng with my families member, they cannot understand at all. :') but..... i still love them.

when come to relationship, i met a lot of "bf" but for my reality bf, i met my second bf in kp, third, and the current one. relationship it colouring my life with pale , black, rainbow and now it's red. i dunno why I named  it as red relationship. red, dont u feel like, It so powerful? and encouraging? hahaha at least i think so.
my current bf, the way i met him, the way he communicate , and what thing he faced are letting me know I'm no longer a little girl, I'm 21. ya. 21. Even we facing some problem, but I still cherish what i had? have. He is a gift. from god.

phew, I start regretting why am I so playful last time, I'm not those potential and talented child. so trying harder. now still trying. and I am the oni child study, my sister and bro gave up education long time ago. so I... dun want disappointed my parents even i'm not those ..... smart student. I'm trying hard. phew. i dun really know what am i sharing, more to tell u guys my life. hahaha. It's interesting.

But somehow i shouldn't let this affect me :)) Mr.snoopy, I didn't want to give up that fast. I would like to do anything .. to prove that .... actually i dint know what i can prove. use result :) The comparison is lose-lose situation, everyone got their special personality, I'm not the one ur parents want, I cannot reach ur level, But i will try my best to be the one they wanted... Just hope that you are happy :) nothing is impossible and hard. AND I'm strong.